I guess the only reason I still use my LJ is to post stuff like this.

It's the only place. I would post it on tumblr, but some people in my class follow me there and I really don't want them to know, since they have a clue about who I'm taking about. They just don't know I feel this way. 

Sometimes people have no idea what I think or feel. Right now I feel like he's the only one I can talk to, but I promised not to. I deleted his number and told everyone I'm staying away from him. So I have to. I can't believe I fucked up only the second time I met him. If I hadn't kissed him, we'd still be friends and his girlfriend wouldn't hate me. Only thing is, if he wasn't interested in me at all, or if he didn't have a girlfriend, everything would be different. Funny how nothing seems to work out the way I want, ever. Worst part is probably that I can't talk about this with some of my best friends, because we don't have that kind of relationship. I need my best friend of all best friends right now, but I'm not sure even she will understand what's going on in my head.

I wish I'd never met him. 

So much has changed the past year, I don't think 2011 is gonna be my year at all. At least I've almost completely forgotten about her. I texted her by accident once last week, while I was drunk. Maybe I should delete her number as well. 

I'm going home this weekend to relax a bit before exams start next week. Maybe I'll talk to my mom, we'll see. 
gaga kermit

(no subject)

 why is everything so fucking retarded this week. i mess up everything and nothing seems to go the way i want it to. i need someone to talk to right now, but i have none that doesn't judge me. 

i just feel like barfing. all the time. and it's not because i'm hungover. all i''ve done all day is crying and almost passing out a couple of times. great fun. 

(no subject)

 i seriously miss you. and you know i'll come running back to you any time. like last time. just give me a wave and i'll be there. i think i need you.

(oh and it's not you. i started forgetting you once you made it clear you didn't want anything to do with me. i'm done with you.) 

but you, i need you to let me forgive you and allow you back in my life. 
robotronic loverholic

anon post

ask me anything, say anything, really just spam me as much as you want.
i pormise i will answer whatever you ask.

make your comments anon, just for the fun.