It's the only place. I would post it on tumblr, but some people in my class follow me there and I really don't want them to know, since they have a clue about who I'm taking about. They just don't know I feel this way. 

Sometimes people have no idea what I think or feel. Right now I feel like he's the only one I can talk to, but I promised not to. I deleted his number and told everyone I'm staying away from him. So I have to. I can't believe I fucked up only the second time I met him. If I hadn't kissed him, we'd still be friends and his girlfriend wouldn't hate me. Only thing is, if he wasn't interested in me at all, or if he didn't have a girlfriend, everything would be different. Funny how nothing seems to work out the way I want, ever. Worst part is probably that I can't talk about this with some of my best friends, because we don't have that kind of relationship. I need my best friend of all best friends right now, but I'm not sure even she will understand what's going on in my head.

I wish I'd never met him. 

So much has changed the past year, I don't think 2011 is gonna be my year at all. At least I've almost completely forgotten about her. I texted her by accident once last week, while I was drunk. Maybe I should delete her number as well. 

I'm going home this weekend to relax a bit before exams start next week. Maybe I'll talk to my mom, we'll see. 

 why is everything so fucking retarded this week. i mess up everything and nothing seems to go the way i want it to. i need someone to talk to right now, but i have none that doesn't judge me. 

i just feel like barfing. all the time. and it's not because i'm hungover. all i''ve done all day is crying and almost passing out a couple of times. great fun. 

please stop. let me help. tell me, and i'll do anything. 

 i seriously miss you. and you know i'll come running back to you any time. like last time. just give me a wave and i'll be there. i think i need you.

(oh and it's not you. i started forgetting you once you made it clear you didn't want anything to do with me. i'm done with you.) 

but you, i need you to let me forgive you and allow you back in my life. 

ask me anything, say anything, really just spam me as much as you want.
i pormise i will answer whatever you ask.

make your comments anon, just for the fun.